Worst Christian Book Covers of 2013!

Here is our list of the worst Christian book covers of 2013…

(Numbers 13-15 on this list are ebooks, the rest are print books. If we hadn’t limited our ebook choices to three, we could have chosen literally hundreds of bad ebook covers.)

Enjoy, and share these with your friends!

Count down with us to the #1 worst Christian book cover of the year…

*** And just in case you haven’t seen it, here is last year’s list of worst covers

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#15 – [easyazon-link asin=”B00F03VFQU” locale=”us”]Ruth’s Story (Romance In Amish Country)[/easyazon-link]

[easyazon-image align=”center” asin=”B00F03VFQU” locale=”us” height=”500″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51cn6OVmlVL.jpg” width=”313″]

I did not know that “meh” was part of the Amish vocabulary, but it was great to see it facially depicted here. One gets so tired of seeing the cute young things with sweet faces on all these Amish romances.
(Submitted by Rick Presley)

Forward to #14 >>>



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  1. Is that a bra on her head?

  2. Actually, Kerry Nietz is a science fiction author and the book is a serious treatment of its topic, even if the title is an inside joke amongst science fiction people, and the terrific cover is perfectly suited to appeal to the book’s intended audience.

  3. The addition of Nietz’s book is just silly. You may not like the subject matter; you may even think the title is campy… but the art and design are spot on. It doesn’t belong anywhere near this list.

  4. I gotta agree with Randy and Andrea on this one. The **design** of this cover is excellent.

  5. Hopefully Englewood Review of Books knows more about reviewing book content than cover design. The Amish Vampires cover is actually superbly done and to include this on a list of worst book covers is absolute buffoonery!

  6. If this were a list of the worst books published this year then I could understand the #1 choice, however, since this list was just about the cover then I call foul. You may not like dark covers, the Amish, or even women but even then it’s still a good cover.

  7. There is a distinct Amish fetish theme in these covers…. #8 looks awesome.

  8. E. Stephen Burnett

    Annnd this would be a mismatch. If the cover is designed to do exactly what it does, and what it does is intentionally corny, or even (if readers will excuse the term) bad—, then it doesn’t belong on any “worst cover” lists. πŸ˜›

  9. I am inspired. ‘Amish Vampires in Space Play the Hunger Games.’ Time to get writing.

  10. Re: #15. I know, how dare they suggest that anyone who’s not a cute young thing be entitled to romance.

    • Cecilia Marie Pulliam

      Yes, I agree. You must be the perfect specimen of humanity and commercially perfect, or you just aren’t good enough. This makes me sick. I need go do some serious praying on how to forgive my enemies.

      • Ummm… The remarks on this one were SARCASM, calling into question the prevailing ideal of Amish romances (and pretty much all romance novels) that the people depicted on the covers must be young, good looking, etc.

      • I understand your point, but on that one, I don’t the satire quite worked the way it was meant to. I thought it really did sound like the woman’s age was being mocked and the “cute young thing” model endorsed. Maybe there were just so many layers to the satire that I got lost. πŸ™‚

        A lot of the others were hilarious, though!

      • Lord, I thank you that I am not like this tax collector. I do not make public messages designed to shame Christians for making embarrassments to the gospel. Instead, I just go to public forums and announce my condemnation of all of them and then announce how I am to pray to learn to be more righteous. Thank you that I am not like this tax collector.

  11. Cecilia Marie Pulliam

    This is the most un-Christian thing I’v seen in a long time. Then, I guess this isn’t a Christian site, is it? This isn’t even civil. I will not participate in tearing someone apart just for the humor and I’m saddened that I followed a posted link and added my page load to this site. Unbelievably crash and cruel. I will not be back – ever or read any post by this site again.

    • E. Stephen Burnett

      Alas, one of the reasons Christian art suffers is that many Christians actually believe it un-Christian to say, “This was not done well or with excellence, and therefore does not glorify God as much as it could have if it were improved.”

      • There’s a difference between telling the creator that “it was not done well or with excellence”, and poking fun at them for all the world to see. It’s not showing a Christian way of thinking or acting, or showing a united front as we should. This whole post is a jab at Christians, by Christians. By all means give some constructive criticism, but don’t tear down your fellow believers like this. It’s just wrong.

    • The writer here is treating these book designers with the respect that does not give them special treatment because they are “Christian.” The industry demands excellence and there are plenty of designers that do not meet that demand. These are among many that do not belong in the designing world.

  12. The Christianity Lite cover was actually quite good!

  13. I agree, Christianity Lite and Amish Vampires are actually very well designed. Whoever put this list together doesn’t understand the difference between a book’s subject and its design. I find it ironic, considering this site’s logo and general layout, that they would be doing any sort of aesthetic judging. People in glass houses…

  14. Its funny that you slam all the Amish covers and then you place the best designed cover from the whole list at number 1 when it is mocking the world of Amish fiction.

  15. Nunofya Damnbiznus

    Shes a local author….and not a very bright one…i live in amish country.

  16. Most of these were hilarious. The Oregon Trail cover and description had me laughing out loud. However, #9 felt mean. That’s the author on the book cover, so it feels like you’re making fun of her. I’m all for calling out bad work, jokes and all – if an author puts his/her work out for public view and purchase, he/she’s gotta accept criticism. But it’s one thing to laugh about bad clip art or a human face in clip art. But poking fun of a person and her story, that felt a bit much. PS I’m still laughing at “If the Conestoga’s rockin’ “

    • Susan, In retrospect, I think you are probably right about #9. If we do future lists of this sort, will definitely be more careful in cases like this where the line between the person and the product gets really fuzzy.
      Sincerely appreciate the feedback!
      Chris Smith

      • I know, I’m a professional comedienne and I cross this line. It’s one of those things you really only know after you do it. Keep these coming. They’re hilarious. I can’t believe that someone actually wrote AMISH VAMPIRES IN SPACE!

  17. I thought #10 (Christianity-lite) was actually a pretty good cover. Sure the photoshopped label wasn’t curved or textured quite right, and the “embossed” cross was completely flat, but the social and cultural rejection of beer seems to me to be diminishing and for a growing number of Christians that title and image contains several layers of meaning, all of which are appropriate to the apparent message of the book.

    • agreed. I think this was a pretty good cover, and a great concept. I might just read this book now.

    • The copywriting for the cover was awful and paradoxical. If this bottle is offering “Christianity Lite,” why would it be saying to stop drinking a watered down gospel. Water doesn’t come in green bottles, so this is either sprite or beer; however, there is no carbonation in the liquid and it is not the right color for either. The typefaces do not go together, the label looks nothing like a beer or soda label.

  18. My impression, is that your brand of criticisms are just mean rather than constructive. And belong on a middle school play ground. Also you should try to improve things by starting with your own site, which has so many adds and elements just thrown onto a plan background. The most artistic things are the covers that you are bullying. It leaves the impression that you just wish to be paid for being mean.

  19. I have offered an explanation of why we do this list, and responded to some of the criticisms here:

  20. Oh man, I couldn’t be more delighted to be a part of this list. See my blog for the cover I decided NOT to use: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/simchafisher/2013/11/29/i-knew-i-should-have-gone-with-the-sinners-guide-to-amish-vampires-in-space/

  21. I’d love to see the list if I didn’t have to see a pop-up ad between each one. Talk about terrible web marketing…

    • Weird… that shouldn’t be happening! There is a popup box that appears the very first time a user visits our site, but there definitely should not be popups between pages. Looking into this… What browser/device are you using?

    • Ditto, and I’m on a PC with Firefox. I’ve been “forwarding” for over ten minutes and only got to #6. Why weren’t these all just placed in a single post so we could scroll down? Oh, yeah….revenue.

  22. I liked the whole list – gave me a much needed laugh today. Please keep doing the list. Wish I hadn’t read the other comments here. Can we just file them under, “Curmudgeon?”
    Someday, when I get published, may I be so fortunate as to get free publicity by having a hideous cover on your list.

  23. Ah, the beauty of wabi-sabi! (I thought some of them looked decently professional, though–way beyond the reach of my own self-publishing budget. *envy*)

    On an unrelated note, I actually want to read about Amish vampires in space now.

  24. I’ve always wanted a bonnet with sparkle power.

  25. I don’t know… I kind of dig #8 haha