[easyazon-image align=”none” asin=”0989672506″ locale=”us” height=”160″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41CV%2Bk0rUVL._SL160_.jpg” width=”104″]Page 2: Kimberlee Conway Ireton – Cracking Up
“Oh God – I am never going to be alone again,” she despairs. What parent among us hasn’t been there?
The church year and Ireton’s reflections on scripture give this volume its shape: some chapters are very short, others are longer, but none are too long for the harried new mother to dip into when she has a moment, and her words will almost certainly be a comfort to anyone who has ever
- screamed with frustration over something small, like wet socks
- left the room because they were “afraid they were going to punch” their kid
- desperately wanted to be away from the kids, about whom they worried constantly every minute they were separated.
Ireton’s candor is admirable, as is her willingness to admit to her intense doubts–her Advent is a dark night of the soul in addition to being the darkest night of the year, and she doubts whether God is even real. Her prayers become constant and desperate, little more than cries for help, for mercy, for grace.
When grace comes–at least in part–via “a little blue pill,” that is, an antidepressant, Ireton laments
“This wasn’t the help I wanted. I wanted a miracle of healing, a big bang of anxiety-eradicating God-power to come into my life and blast the fear away.”
God has other plans, though. Ireton journeys slowly back to wellness, aided by the “prayers and visits and meals” of her faith community, and, of course, by the healing balm of time. Even when she didn’t have the strength to seek God, she finds, God was seeking her. “I didn’t just find glory this year. I think maybe glory found me,” she says.
Many parts of Kimberlee Conway Ireton’s Cracking Up reminded me painfully of the difficult times I had after the births of each of my children–and of the fact that anxiety over the safety and wellness of one’s children never really comes to a complete end. But Ireton’s journey reminded me also that those times – which I can remember now with something like amusement and nostalgia – were blessed times, and grace, which has brought me safe this far, will lead me, and other tired parents, safely home.
Rachel Marie Stone is the author of Eat With Joy (IVP, 2013) and of the forthcoming book The Unexpected Way (Peace Hill, 2014). She contributes regularly to Christianity Today’s her.meneutics blog and her writing has appeared in The Christian Century, The Huffington Post, Books & Culture, and Prism, among others. She teaches writing at Zomba Theological College in Malawi, Africa.
C. Christopher Smith is the founding editor of The Englewood Review of Books. He is also author of a number of books, including most recently How the Body of Christ Talks: Recovering the Practice of Conversation in the Church (Brazos Press, 2019). Connect with him online at: C-Christopher-Smith.com
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Thank you for reviewing this wonderfully written book. I think it might save a life here or there, at least metaphysically speaking. :>)
I’m right in the throes of this, and am now going to go buy this book on Amazon.
This was me, with our first and third babies… putting this on my must-read list. And thankful for Rachel for reviewing it and sharing part of her own story!