[easyazon_image add_to_cart=”default” align=”left” asin=”084994600X” cloaking=”default” height=”160″ localization=”default” locale=”US” nofollow=”default” new_window=”default” src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51fzm8OE93L._SL160_.jpg” tag=”douloschristo-20″ width=”107″]Page 2: Anne Marie Miller – Lean on Me
Miller offers a robust view of what a true community can be and can give, especially as she heals and begins to offer that same type of community to other people. While having friends and being a friend on this level asks a lot of us, it also offers a gateway to some of the best gifts around: joy, freedom, and knowing that we are loved at our core. This type of community also shows us how God loves us, giving us tangible things to hang onto when we feel ashamed, or doubt, or wonder why anyone would choose to love us.
While her tactics of choosing particular people to populate her community, submitting to them on every level, and asking for a formal and significant commitment from them worked for Miller, it isn’t how most people are going to find those sorts of relationships. The majority of people don’t have Miller’s connections, and so don’t have the opportunity to select particularly outstanding and emotionally or spiritually mature people to be part of their team. And many people would not be comfortable accepting the burden of being part of a team to whom someone could submit their entire life. For many of us, that would not be the best choice even if we had people willing to stand in that place.
In the end, most of us find our friends – even friends who become like family – through a much less intentional and formal process. We meet them at work, at church, playing with their kids in the park, or at the supermarket. We get to know them slowly, building a relationship brick upon brick as we learn that it is safe to share the places where we feel most vulnerable. We may learn to depend on them, but that will come through time and trust.
All of this does not mean that Miller’s book isn’t applicable to everyone, but that each person will have to translate it for their own life, and many will have to do quite a bit of translation to make it work. Should each person surrender to his or her need for relationship? Absolutely! Should all relationships be safe places where we can be vulnerable because we know that both parties are committed? Of course. But that will look different in each life and most lives will look significantly different that Miller’s.
Still, her story resonates in deep soul places. It falls on the side of spectacular and fascinating and, because we want to know what happens next, we are willing to hear things we might not otherwise take in. We hear that our independence isn’t always for the best, and that we don’t need to look at a desire for deep connection out of sideways eyes, wondering if it means something is wrong.
And Anne Marie Miller’s story offers a picture of beauty and redemption in brokenness that we will all know at some point and in some way. It reminds us that, even in those times, we can choose to surround ourselves with people who love us enough to help carry us home.
C. Christopher Smith is the founding editor of The Englewood Review of Books. He is also author of a number of books, including most recently How the Body of Christ Talks: Recovering the Practice of Conversation in the Church (Brazos Press, 2019). Connect with him online at: C-Christopher-Smith.com
 Reading for the Common Good From ERB Editor Christopher Smith "This book will inspire, motivate and challenge anyone who cares a whit about the written word, the world of ideas, the shape of our communities and the life of the church." -Karen Swallow Prior Enter your email below to sign up for our weekly newsletter & download your FREE copy of this ebook! |
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