Worst Christian Book Covers of 2013 – Help us Pick them!

October 23, 2013

 

Worst Christian Book Covers

The most popular post on our website over the last year (far and away), was our list of the Worst Christian Book Covers of 2012.

So, we are planning to run a list again this year, but we need your help to make this year’s list better and even funnier!
 
PRIZES!!!
We have a box of 50+ books that we have received for review or that our editor Chris Smith has culled from his own library. (Lots of great stuff! CLICK HERE for the list…).
We will pick a winner from your submissions and he/she will get to choose 5 books from that list (could be valued at $100+ depending on the books chosen).  A second-place winner will get to choose 3 books, and a third place winner will get to choose one book.
 


 

So, here’s how this will work….


 
1) PREPARE:
Take a look at last year’s list for inspiration, then go here to start searching for bad covers.
(LGT: Amazon’s list Christian books released in 2013)
 
GUIDELINES:
– Kindle and Print books are both eligible, though will we limit the number of Kindle ebooks on our final list
– We are the final arbiters of whether any book is “Christian” or not (Generally, if it is in Amazon’s Christian book section, we’ll accept it).
 
2) SUBMIT: 
Using the comments below, here’s what you need to submit:
a) You will get bonus points if you share the link to this contest.  Tell us where you shared it: Twitter, Facebook, Blog, etc.

b) Include a link to Amazon or elsewhere which has a large-ish picture of the cover.

c) Include a BRIEF comment on why you choose this cover (the funnier/snarkier, the better).

d) (OPTIONAL) You can actually include a picture in your comment, by clicking the icon in the bottom left corner. This might help your entry get more votes.

***  You are welcome to submit as many entries as you want, but submit each one as a separate comment.
 
3) VOTE:
Using the up and down arrows on DISQUS, tell us which submissions you like and don’t like (You can only vote once up or down for any submission).
Your votes will play an essential role (but not the only role) in our choosing the winner.
 
The contest will run for 12 days,
and end on MONDAY NOVEMBER 4, 2013 at 11PM PT…

 
Here are a couple of examples of possible worst Christian book covers from this year (these are not contest entries)…
Surely you can find better ones!

 [easyazon-image align=”none” asin=”B00F3FNRAC” locale=”us” height=”333″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51Y6NgVu7KL.jpg” width=”222″]Hmmm… I’m guessing that stabbing is probably not on this list.  [easyazon-image align=”none” asin=”B00DGSCNGM” locale=”us” height=”333″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41Tmm4NH-sL.jpg” width=”222″]And what exactly makes this cupcake Christian? The lily-white icing?

 
 




84 responses to Worst Christian Book Covers of 2013 – Help us Pick them!

  1. Because Vikings hang out on the prairie… and don’t where shirts… and carry guns rather than Viking weapons.

    http://www.amazon.com/Prairie-Viking-Brides-Book-ebook/dp/B00EBZDDQI/ref=sr_1_627?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1383077458&sr=1-627

  2. Father Calloway purports to be “telling us what it means to be ‘under Mary’s Mantle.’” Evidently it means grooming yourself like Don Johnson in ‘Miami Vice.’ And surfing.

    http://www.amazon.com/Under-Mantle-Thoughts-Century-ebook/dp/B00ED2OOXK/ref=sr_1_1130?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1383116162&sr=1-1130

  3. The Planting Wife

    With her face cut off and light rays emanating from her hips, it makes this look like the planting wife is some kind of supernateral fertility being rather than a christian ministry book.
    http://www.amazon.com/The-Church-Planting-Wife-Heart/dp/0802406386/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382708804&sr=8-1&keywords=the+church+planting+wife
    (p.s. I shared this whole page on my facebook page)

  4. http://www.amazon.com/Ruths-Story-Romance-Country-ebook/dp/B00F03VFQU/ref=sr_1_172?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1383409157&sr=1-172

    I did not know that “meh” was part of the Amish vocabulariy, but it was great to see it facially depicted on this book. One gets so tired of seeing the cute young things with the sweet faces on all these Amish romances.

  5. Kate Kissling Blakely November 2, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    Attack of the Wolfabominable SnowDog… A Christmas story -or- When Christmas Dog Attack, How I Survived the Winter Apocalypse of ’68. http://www.amazon.com/Noel-Angel-Paws-Holiday-ebook/dp/B00FMZYXGK/ref=sr_1_103?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1383412397&sr=1-103

  6. Kate Kissling Blakely November 2, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    This is a salacious story. Because legs.
    This is a Christian story. Because Church.
    Look, legs!

    http://www.amazon.com/Seed-Discord-Church-Candy-ebook/dp/B00EURYQMM/ref=sr_1_196?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1383412761&sr=1-196

  7. Kate Kissling Blakely November 2, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    Edgar, red is really in right now, isn’t it?
    Yes, Merl. Also, CAPITALS. That way they know we mean SERIOUS BUSINESS.

    http://www.amazon.com/Witness-Wore-Red-Brought-Polygamous/dp/1455527858/ref=sr_1_53?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1383412230&sr=1-53

  8. Kate Kissling Blakely November 2, 2013 at 1:36 pm

    Last one… for now — Bobble-head Bonneted Barbara, on sale now for $29.99. Call now and we’ll throw in a free horse and barn. (Some restrictions apply. Accepting this offer does not guarantee that you will, in fact, find romance.) http://www.amazon.com/Road-Salvation-Out-Darkness-ebook/dp/B00F9CHZFC/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1383412109&sr=1-3

  9. Via Tyler Delong…

  10. Amazon Best-Selling Novelist, Faith Grace, continues the story of Marissa Miller, who has just moved from her comfort zone to get close to handsome Levi Bender. Can she get past the loss of Melvin? Just as she thinks she can, a family secret is exposed, all while more are in the process as someone sets out to sabotage her and Levi’s relationship.

  11. CONGRATS to our three winners in this contest:
    (We will post our ranked list of the worst Xian Book Covers of 2013 tomorrow!)

    1st Place: Alex Dye for AMISH VAMPIRES IN SPACE:
    http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/674/3222/original.jpg

    2nd Place: Lesli Summerstay for
    A CHRISTIAN GUIDE TO THE SEXUAL MARKETPLACE
    http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/677/4814/original.jpg

    3rd Place: Kimberly Roth for
    THE SINNERS GUIDE TO NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING
    http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/674/438/original.jpg